Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Bush Sucks

The ‘70s porn-star look went out of style, well, in the ‘70s.

Now, we know there are plenty of men who like the natural (read: long enough for dreadlocks) look of hairy bodies. We support that. This product isn’t for you, but you’re bound to know more than a few guys who will make it their new favorite cordless device.

Introducing the Philips Norelco Bodygroom: the first product that we know of claiming to increase the visual appearance of your (how do we put this scientifically?) tallywhacker.

And you know what? It works. Trimming the “hair down there” makes “objects” look longer, larger and luscious-ier. (Now there’s a mouthful!)

With a set of attachments, you can trim hair all over your body (below the neck) or shave it off and be shiny as a Bel Ami butt cheek. As for your “kiwi” fruits (their marketing pitch, not ours…honestly), you can lose your fear of nicks and cuts and shave with confidence. They’ll be so soft and velvety that they should be on display in the Smoothsonian.

Or the Hard Rocks Café.

Or Nuts Berry Farm…

Available at Target and other fine retailers