Oh ye weary holiday partygoer, have you been blinded by one too many matchy Christmas sweater?, gone deaf from a co-worker’s Manheim Steamroller holiday ring tone (yes, they exist)?, or caught a case of the gout from overindulgence of cream-cheese-based hors d’oeuvres? We offer these words of wisdom – take solace in the cool darkness of the theatre this season and loose yourself in someone else’s drama. You’ll be back to normal and ready to rum ball, um rumble, in no time.
Dog Sees God: Confessions of a Teenage Blockhead
Opens Thursday, December 6
How’s this for cheery: Snoopy is dead from rabies, Pig Pen is a germaphobe hooked on Purrell and Linus is a pothead. Teen angst and dysfunction meet the Peanuts Gang in this dark comedy. It’s certainly not A Charlie Brown Christmas.
Bath House Cultural Center
521 E. Lawther Drive, Dallas
Best Little Whorehouse in Texas
Through Saturday, December 8
Ah whores, it just wouldn’t be the holidays without them. And who doesn’t get misty eyed during “Hardy Candy Christmas?” The cast is comprised of KD Actor Studio Actors Conservatory students and alumni (it’s like Dallas’ version of Fame without the legwarmers).
Tickets $6 to $12
KD Studio Conservatory
2600 Stemmons Freeway
Scrooge: The Musical
Opens Friday, December 14-23
If the samba causes Marie Osmond to faint, just imagine the bitch of a time Tiny Tim is going to have strutting his stuff in song and dance.
Tickets $10 advance/$12 at the door
Plano Community Theatre
1509 Avenue H, Plano
Rockin’ Christmas Party
Through Sunday, December 23
Rebuke the mind-numbing madness of holiday Muzak with some Top 40 hits from the ‘60s, ‘70s and ‘80s thrown together in this Christmas potpourri musical. It’s the perfect opportunity to demonstrate your mad YMCA dance skills, just be careful not to smack your fellow theatregoers in the head with your flailing arm movements.
Tickets $20 to $30
Addison Conference and Theatre Centre
15650 Addison Road, Addison
In Dallas through Sunday, December 16
In Fort Worth through Monday, December 31
This is the tale of two cities putting on the same show. Think of Season’s Greetings as the yin to A Christmas Carol’s yang. It’s the story of the chaos that ensues when you mix extended family and the holidays. The most disturbing part is how much the characters will remind you of people in your own family – art does imitate life.
Tickets $20 to $30
2800 Roth Street, #168 in Dallas
In Fort Worth:
Tickets $20 to $24