Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Fake Boob Tube

At the risk of sounding like a senior citizen waxing nostalgically, we really do feel bad for kids today. Not only will they have to relive the embarrassments of puberty in perpetuity (thanks YouTube!), they’re also being denied something many of us took for granted in our youth – really cheesy TV shows.

Don’t get us wrong, while The Hills and other reality-inspired, vapid programming do provide their share of mind-numbing goodness, nothing can replace the laugh-track-filled, moral-lesson-to-be-learned camp fests that we enjoyed in the 70s and 80s.

And although the golden era of television may be gone, its shows live on in our pop-culture psyches and sometimes beyond. Take for example The Facts of Life, which has found new life as a parody musical, The Facts of Life: The Lost Episode, currently being staged by Uptown Players.

Whereas the TV version of the show had the girls from Eastland College enjoying corny one-liners and jumping the shark with visits to Paris and “Down Under,” the stage version takes even greater liberties. For one, all the roles are played by men, which we think will be a much better explanation as to why Jo was always so butchy. There are also some musical numbers and other over-the-top character revelations not found in the small-screen version that get to the bottom of just what was going on under the tutelage of Mrs. G.

Whether you were a die-hard fan who slept in your roller skates a la Tootie, or you’re just looking for a night of laughs and campy comedy, this is the show for you.

And we predict you’ll have the theme song coursing through your head for about the next three weeks. All together now, “you take the good, you take the bad…”

The Facts of Life: The Lost Episode
Through Saturday, July 12
Tickets: $22 – $25
Uptown Players
The Rose Room (upstairs at S4; ages 21+)
3911 Cedar Springs, Dallas

And be sure to check out the hilarious preview online at