Whew. Another pride has come and gone and somewhere between the tanning, primping, gyming, drinking, dancing and flashing areolas for beads, we forgot to rest. So this week, we’ve picked some low-key events to pass the time, like cooking classes and comedy shows. If you really want to shock your system back into hetero reality, how about a trip to the State Fair? Think of it as straight penance for your week of big gay debauchery.
In Search Of The Bearded Clam
Italian Seafood Cooking Class
Tonight, 6:30 p.m.
Man cannot live on hot dog alone. And while the thought of filling your home with eau de tuna may strike fear into your heart and stink into your curtains, it’s time to mussel up and learn how to properly identify and cook seafood. After all, you never know when you’ll have a big, thick, veiny…shrimp in your face, and you don’t want to look inexperienced. So stop floundering and snapper to it.
Cost: $99 per person
Milestone Culinary Arts Center
4531 Mckinney Avenue, Dallas
State Fair of Texas
Opens Friday, September 26
Screw Beijing, the State Fair of Texas is our Olympics and we are going for the fried gold this year. And in honor of this yearly pilgrimage to the pedestrian epicenter, we’ve already purchased our NASCAR shirt (and cut the sleeves off, of course), started a weeklong training session of eating only foods made in a Fry Daddy (mmm, fried protein shakes) and practiced our best “come hither” head nod for those rough-trade, Tilt-A-Whirl workers. Bring it on, Corny Dog.
Cost: $14 general admission
Fair Park, Dallas
Eat Your Art Out
DIFFA’s Dining By Design Dallas 2008
Friday, September 26 & Saturday, September 27
In what sounds like the set up for a new show on Bravo, Dining by Design pairs top interior designers with the culinary elite to create customized “dining installations.” The over-the-top vignettes occupy a space only 11’x 11’ and must be able to seat 10 people for dinner during the closing gala on Saturday evening. Opportunities to check out the fashion-forward foodiness take place all weekend, so see the schedule for details.
Prices and times vary by event
Hilton Anatole Hotel
2201 Stemmons Freeway, Dallas
Friday, September 26, 8:00 p.m.
To quote funny lady Wanda Sykes, “If you don’t believe in same sex marriage, then don’t marry someone of the same sex.” It’s that tell-it-like-it-is-attitude that makes us love her, and apparently TITAS hearts her too as they are bringing her to town for this event. Expect new material and maybe some old favorites (racist dolphin, hint, hint).
Tickets: $25 – $75
SMU McFarlin Auditorium
6400 Hillcrest, Dallas
Movie-n On Up
Hollywood’s Closet: A GLBT Film Journey
Saturday, September 27, 2:00 p.m.
The last time we used a library card was pre-puberty when we wanted to sneak a peek at some junk in an anatomy book. (Desperate times call for desperate measures). But now that the library is showing gay movies, we might have to check it out again. Arnold Wayne Jones, film critic for the Dallas Voice, hosts this screening series of classic films with homo subtext. Time to come out of the celluloid closet and take a look. This week’s selection is A Stranger On The Train.
J. Erik Jonsson Central Library (First Floor Auditorium)
1515 Young Street, Dallas
Annie Get Your Fun
Saturday, September 27, 8:00 p.m.
We may not have Broadway, but that doesn’t stop some of its most stunning broads from coming our way. Bernadette Peters wowed the gays (and maybe the straights, too) with Tony-nominated roles in Annie Get Your Gun and Into The Woods, as well as with her perfectly coiffed ringlets. Now she’s bringing her business to Bass Hall to sing with the Fort Worth Symphony Orchestra. Children will listen, indeed.
Tickets: $29 – $99
4th & Calhoun Streets, Fort Worth