Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

T.G.I. Fried Day!

How many tickets would you fork over for an organic corny dog? Imagine the internal conflict as you head to the Fletcher’s booth with your sheet of food coupons. There’d be the little devil on one shoulder screaming, “Get the corny dog! Get the corny dog!” and a tiny angel on the other assuring you, “It’s organic. Get two!”

Well, no need to worry about such a cartoonish scenario because there ain’t no such thing as no organic fried meat on a stick at this here State Fair of Texas.

But imagine the possibilities of such a false consolation. Sort of the way cooking in trans-fat free oil is supposed to make us feel better about eating mouthfuls of grease.

But 30-inch waists, be damned! We don’t go to the fair for the fresh spring greens tossed in a light vinaigrette with fennel-poached tilapia. We’re in it to sin it.

And that means a careful intake of fried-salty, fried-sweet, fried-salty, fried-sweet rotation of foods to control the chaos in between our quest to find six-coupon beer! (Hint: it can be found at several locations inside the food court—or pay up to double outside on the Midway.)

For our second annual round-up of the fair’s new foods, we started out with the first best-in-show entry because that just seemed the logical way to go.

“Best Taste” winner Chicken Fried Bacon (Served at stand #N30 located on Nimitz at MLK) is surprisingly tasty on its own, but proved to be an even more decadent treat when eaten together with the Fernie’s All-American Fried Grilled Cheese Sandwich (just a few steps away at the Dock Restaurant inside the Embarcadero). It’s an ooey-gooey marriage made in heaven (or Richard Simmons’ own personal hell).

But we digress. The other big winner was the “Most Creative” Fried Banana Split. Not only is it unique, but also off the beaten path, tucked away inside the Automobile Building at the Auto Grill. We snuck into the back seat of a spankin’ new hybrid (we care about the environment, you know) and enjoyed the fried banana-and-honey peanut butter balls far from the wanton looks of hungry strangers. At a whopping 17 tickets (that’s a street price of $8.50), the price is a bit steep, so our greed is justified.

Our other new-food faves are the Texas Bar-B-Que Egg Rolls, which represent Tex-Asian fusion at its most carnal. Deep Fried S’Mores took us back to our days in the Girl Scouts Boy Scouts sitting around the Fry Daddy telling ghost stories and waiting to spoon in our tent with the troop leader.

So go forth and multiply (your calories, that is).

Just learn from our mistakes. Riding the Crazy Mouse after all this in a single sitting is not the best idea we’ve ever had.

For all the new fair foods, check out www.bigtex.com/foodlocator.