The Season of Hostess Gifts is upon us, and you should never, never, never show up to someone’s party empty-handed. After all, they’ve gone to all the trouble of buying frozen hors d’oeuvres and defrosting them for your pleasure.
Besides, if you expect to get something more out of a holiday gathering than a cold cocktail weenie and a cheesecake square, simply raid the host’s medicine cabinet. (That’s what it’s there for.)
But that still doesn’t excuse you from your gift-giving duty.
Wine, of course, is always easy, but sometimes it can seem like a cop-out. But that was before some genius winemakers came up with “Evil” and “Bitch.”
Either makes the perfect statement, whether you intend it to be playful or right to the point. We’ve long been fans of these wines because of their timeless humor and that priceless look of horror the priest gets when we take our own bottle to communion, but now that they’re at eatZi’s for a great price, we’re even happier.
Best of all, the wines actually have substance behind their cleverness. Now, we could go all Wine Spectator on you and talk about the overt oakiness and the way you can taste layers of earthen notes dancing hand-in-hand with playful grapes harvested by Aboriginal virgins deep in the Australian Outback, but that’s not our style.
All you care about is that they’re good, cheap and can get you tipsy.
And they satisfy each of those requirements beautifully. Evil is a 100% Cabernet that’s rich and velvety, but not too heavy.
And the surprisingly light Bitch Grenache is almost too easy to drink. Almost.
So buy a case to divvy up to all the appropriate people on your list: mother-in-law, sister, boss, yoga instructor, and that total hag that works the customer service desk at Wal-Mart.
Better yet, get her two.
Evil $12, Bitch $13
Matching t-shirts available for $20
3403 Oak Lawn Avenue, Dallas