Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Sewing Your Oats…And Bedazzling Them Too

‘Twas the week before Thanksgiving and all through the hood, the gays were growing quite restless looking for outings quite good. Okay, you can see why we dropped out of Rap School and applied to Beauty College instead. Our rhymes may be far from fresh, but our beat boxing is off the chart, or hook, or chain, or whatever. And even though we lack the ability to “spit mad lyrics,” we can still find a fab party faster than Aunt Fran can hurl gin-soaked insults about your mother’s cooking.

So without further ado, here’s where to spend your week.

Coming Out Of The Closet Cabinet
The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari
Tonight, 8:00 p.m. & 9:00 p.m.
Two words for you: Experimental Theatre. If you come from drama-nerd stock then prepare to enter a world of video montage meets audience interaction that will titillate your inner Thespian beyond belief. For everyone else, get ready for a puzzling journey into the inner workings of a freak show based on the 1920’s German film considered by some to be the very first horror movie. Either way you’ll leave feeling bold, modern and just a little avant-garde. Berets and condescending sarcasm are optional.

Tickets: Free (donations encouraged)
UT Dallas – University Theater
800 West Campbell Road, Richardson

Handmade’s Tale
Etsy Dallas Jingle Bash
Saturday, November 22, 3:00 – 10:00 p.m.
Attention Kmart shoppers, what the hell are you doing shopping at Kmart anyway? If you really want to give someone a gift that won’t make the immediate re-gift pile, then it’s all about buying handmade. This event brings together 40 local vendors to pimp their wares. Plus there’s live music and karaoke, which beats the hell out of Musak and cheese samples at Sam’s Club.

Cost: Free
Sons of Hermann Hall
3414 Elm Street, Dallas

Kiss My Glass
Celebration of Glass
Saturday, November 22, 4:00 – 10:00 p.m.
We’ve only blown glass once, but it was really drunk so it doesn’t count. Ah, that one never gets old. Make sure to tell it to the fine artisans at Vetro who will be displaying their works of art all made from glass. Highlights include the “Truth or Consequences Auction” where works either sell for the highest bid or meet a shattering end on the ground and an appearance by the Fire Fan Dancers (and no, that’s not your flamey hairdresser and his friends wearing their big club kid shoes).

Cost: Free
Vetro Art Glass
701 Main Street, Grapevine

Honky Tonk Angel
Loretta Lynn
Saturday, November 22, 10:30 p.m.
Even if you don’t have a country-music loving bone in your body, we dare you not to get a lil’ choked up over “Coal Miner’s Daughter.” Seriously, she didn’t have any shoes to wear all summer and in the winter she only got one pair. The horror. Or if you don’t like the old stuff, maybe she’ll play some of her Van Lear Rose numbers she recorded with The White Stripes.

Tickets: $15 – $30
Billy Bob’s Texas
2520 Rodeo Plaza, Fort Worth

Cold Shoulder (And Everything Else)
Ice! 2008
Through Saturday, January 3
The name GAYlord takes us right back to those playground taunts of days gone by, but we decided to give this venue a second chance anyway. We couldn’t resist. They are featuring two million pounds of sparkly ice carved into shapes and figures by 40 “visiting” Chinese artists (we’ll see if the words “help me” are scratched into the ice anywhere). And just a quick fashion warning, they provide every guest with a parka to wear throughout the exhibit. Your powers of couture are useless here.

Tickets: $23
Gaylord Texan
1501 Gaylord Trail, Grapevine