Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

White Elephant Christmas. Really.

Okay, label queens, we hear you loud and clear. Any fabric touching your skin not made of Gucci cashmere can lead to a horrid rash. And a ride in a Kia Sorrento might as well be a night in Guantanamo.

So it’s no surprise that you’ve been on a Christmas Tree boycott until Louis Vuitton releases a line of leather-wrapped LED lights emblazoned with Swarovski crystals.

Well, we weren’t able to pull off that Christmas miracle, but we did find some designer ornaments guaranteed to show everyone you have the best taste that money (or a maxed-out Visa) can buy.

Potter turned designer Jonathan Adler has released a complete line of adorable animal ornaments in his distinctive style. And it’s just the kind of sparkle that will make your Chanukah Bush the talk of the block.

Available in shapes of elephants, squirrels, snails, cats, turtles, and lions, each ornament comes individually boxed and looped with a powder-blue ribbon. Plus you can choose from stark-modern, white glaze or more ostentatious, shiny platinum.

Take that, bag of Dollar Store sparkly nutcrackers!

But as they say, with great power comes great responsibility. Adler’s boyfriend Simon Doonan literally wrote the book on window dressing, so we trust you’ll put your new ornaments on display in a fitting vignette.

You know, something that makes Neiman’s Christmas window look like amateur night at the Chess King school for live models.

Jonathan Adler Ornaments: $24 – $28
The Nest
6731 Snider Plaza, University Park