Before we could even pack away our Pocahontas outfits from Thanksgiving, the eminent signs of Christmas were already upon us. Almost overnight, sparkly trees sprang up in drugstores alongside garish inflatable snow globes and animatronic stuffed penguins singing “Rockin’ Around The Christmas Tree” on an endless loop. Then the radio stations turned on us, opting to forgo our smooth jazz faves for 24-hour-a-day holiday hits. So, with this in mind we decided not to subject our loyal sugarplum fairies to listings of every production of A Christmas Carol or The Best Christmas Pageant Ever being staged around Dallas. Call us size queens, but we never liked “Tiny Tim” anyway.
Flapper, I Hardly Know Her
Thoroughly Modern Millie
December 12 – 21
Leave it to Broadway to mix jazzy tap dancing numbers with stories of white slavery. If you’re not familiar with the show, brush up on the film version, which is jam-packed with gay icons like Julie Andrews, Mary Tyler Moore and Carol Channing.
Tickets: $14 – $25
650 North Coit Road, Richardson
The Lollie Bombs Holiday Show
December 12 & 13, 19 & 20, 11:15 p.m.
If you’ve never been to a burlesque show, you’re missing out. It’s all the fun and camp of a drag show with less of a likelihood that the performer will pull her wig off mid-song, sit in your lap, drink your cocktail dry and leave a sweaty, lipstick print on your cheek. Besides, burlesque is the new sexy. Guess people want naughtiness just like grandma used to make. Wait. That came out wrong, but you know where we were going with it, right?
Tickets: $15 each, with a one-item minimum
Pocket Sandwich Theater
5400 East Mockingbird Lane, Dallas
E-I, E-I, Ewww
The Goat, or Who is Sylvia?
Through December 13
So, you thought it was uncomfortable sitting through the family dinner when your sister announced she eloped with her deadbeat biker boyfriend while passing the mash potatoes? Well, Edward Albee’s script about love and infidelity can up that ante and make your family’s dysfunction seem about as mellow as an episode of The Brady Bunch.
Tickets: $15 – $30
Kitchen Dog Theater
McKinney Avenue Contemporary (MAC)
3120 McKinney Avenue, Dallas
The Revues Are In
Closer Than Ever
December 4 – 28
For show tune fans, musical revues are like eating a dinner of all desserts. We get all the songs we love with just a hint of plot to string them all together. Such is the case with Closer Than Ever, a clever collection of the works of Maltby and Shire. And even if you think Maltby and Shire is a law firm or a steak sauce, there’s bound to be a song or two that gets stuck in your head.
Tickets: $27 – $32
Contemporary Theater of Dallas
5601 Sears Street, Dallas
Who’s Your Daddy [Warbucks]?
December 23 – 28
Just thinkin’ about tomorrow, makes us want to buy tickets. And with all this talk of economy and bailouts, the Great Depression part of the story may hit a little too close to home. Guess we need to bust out that curly red wig and see if there’s an eccentric millionaire in need of spunky orphan to spice up his life.
Tickets: $30 – $75
Bass Performance Hall
330 East 4th Street, Fort Worth