Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The Fast And The Furious

December has arrived, and the exceptional Milk notwithstanding, Hollywood has held back its most prestigious flicks until this final month of 2008.

How better to cover such a dense season, especially during this brutal economic downturn, than with snappy, fifteen-word recaps Gay List Daily-style:

Doubt: Streep dresses like a Quaker. Not Wilford Brimley. Film will not fulfill Catholic schoolboy fantasy.

Frost/Nixon: Recount of the famous Tricky Dick interviews. Appropriately just in time for Bush’s impending exit.

The Day The Earth Stood Still: Keanu “The One” Reeves threatens Earth. The dude is still monotone, pale, and wearing black.

Seven Pounds: Will Smith as do-gooder. Again. We miss alien fighting, planet saving, market-trading Smith.

Cadillac Records: Beyoncé Knowles as heroin addict, jazz legend Etta James. With track marks. She’s a survivor!

Nothing Like The Holidays: Grace Adler goes to Puerto Rican hubby’s family’s home for Christmas. Wait, hags get married?

Bedtime Stories: Julia Goulia! Adam Sandler endures nighttime tales brought to life. Hopefully, it’s better than Zohan.

The Spirit: More comic-inspired cinema with Scarlett and Samuel L. Visually stunning flick for geeks everywhere.

Revolutionary Road: Even with Leo and Kate, the blandest movie this season. Leo’s king of the snore!

Trust us on these, because our “thumbs up” are busy doing other things.