When’s the last time you tied someone up?
Oh, kittens, don’t be shocked. We’d never want to offend your virginal sensibilities – once a lady, always a lady – but we’ve rediscovered the sinful thrills of good ole-fashioned bondage, and we must share.
Introducing Tie-Ups, possibly the gayest belts we’ve ever seen.
Unless you’re a gym bunny or a porn star, most of us try not to call attention to our mid-sections. We simply sport the black sweater and avoid thinking about our soft, gooey centers. But Tie-Ups are too novel not to enjoy, so add a few extra crunches to your daily routine.
You can’t go wrong with a name as perfectly provocative as Tie-Ups. The unisex (tee hee) belts are 100% recyclable, wholly plastic, antibacterial and hypoallergenic. Production of Tie-Ups is entirely vegan, anti-polluting, and leaves zero environmental residues.
And they’re pretty!
The stylish belts come in radioactive hues in seemingly every color under the rainbow, such as Orange Sky, Rodeo Drive Violet, Portobello Blue, and (seriously) Yellow Fluid. Ooh, so kinky.
Because they’re Italian and damn new, they’re a little tricky to find, but Nordstrom seems to offer plenty of color-ways at The Rail. Also, a quick Google search should delight even the most buy-curious.
For post-purchase pleasure, drop into the Tie-Ups art gallery on their website. Classic video games like Ms. Pac-Man and Bubble Bobble inspire analog canvasses promoting the Tie-Ups brand.
Take notice of the orange one, at first glance it looks like something we once found at grandma's. …Just sayin'.
Tie-Ups Belts: $90
For info, www.tie-ups.it
For purchase, shop.nordstrom.com