Well, the big news this week is, of course, the inauguration of that fine lookin’, yet big-eared, new leader of ours. But before you break out the Obama booty shorts and get all, “Yes we can, yes we did and yes we’re gonna” on us, let’s ponder some activities to keep us occupied until Tuesday. Think of it as founding forefather foreplay before the swearing-in money shot. And remember, it’s not the size of your electoral college. It’s how you use it.
Who Let The Dogs Drink? Who? Who?
Martinis For Mutts
Tonight, 7:00 – 10:00 p.m.
When not sipping out of the toilet bowl, odds are you can find your four-legged friend bellying up to the bar for a Pawtini at this high-end affair benefiting the animal welfare agency Paws In The City. Once in the door, purchase vouchers to use toward everything from raffle prizes to “snack packs.” Woof!
5029 Willis Avenue, Dallas
Nunsense: The 25th Anniversary Tour
Tonight, 8:00 p.m.
Apparently all those years feasting on saving orphaned children for only pennies a day really rubbed off on Sally Struthers. As such, she’s taken a vow of nunnery (as in, can’t get nun or don’t want nun) starring as Mother Superior in Nunsense: The 25th Anniversary Tour. If you’ve never seen the show, it’s worth it. Just be prepared for pun after pun about the sisters of the cloth. It’s a hard habit to break.
Tickets: $25 – $75
Bass Performance Hall
330 East 4th Street, Fort Worth
Hell On Heels Tour
Saturday, January 17, 8:00 p.m.
Oh, glam rock. How we do we love thee? Let us count the ways. One, mascara brush; two, sparkly tattered panty hose; three, bands like Semi-Precious Weapons, Von Iva and Nico Vega coming to town. This might just be an occasion worthy of resurrecting our retired klub kid persona: Countessa Ginger Vitis de Viaggravate.
3014 Throckmorton, Dallas
Miss Marcy & Her Texas Sugar Daddy’s
Monday, January 19, 6:30 – 8:00 p.m.
After being arrested by the grammar police for not giving the sugar daddies who back her due credit, Miss Marcy was released and charged with a possessive misdemeanor. As part of her linguistic community service, she’ll be playing at Pearl possibly singing hits such as “Conjunction Junction.” Just make sure to turn her in should she lapse into any further offenses, like ending her sentences in a preposition.
2038 Commerce Street, Dallas
Barack The Vote
Inauguration Watch Party On Cedar Springs
Tuesday, January 20, All-Day Event
If we were the type to stoop to lowbrow humor like vagina jokes, we would totally make a funny about getting rid of Bush here. But as you can tell by our electronic fart machine and worn VHS copy of Police Academy IV, we are way more sophisticated than that. Instead, we will invite you to the Cedar Springs Merchant Association’s celebration of the inauguration of Barack Obama as the 44th president of the United States. See you there. We’ll be the ones in the “1.20.09: The End of an Error” t-shirts.
We Have A Winner!
Congratulations to Benny Ruiz (we hope you're OUT!) for winning four tickets to this Saturday’s Gay Bingo! Thanks to everyone who entered. We plan lots more prize giveaways in the coming weeks, so keep your eyes peeled for our prize alerts (and tell your friends to sign up, too!).