Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Spice, Girl

Some people call us food snobs. Sure, we don’t like to eat anything from the same culinary genre two meals in a row (Mexican for lunch = no Mexican for dinner). We like to alternate between chicken, beef, pork, lamb and seafood from meal to meal, lest our palates become bored. And don’t even try to feed us anything processed or (gasp) from a can or the freezer.

Does that make us snobs? No, it makes us foodies.

We don’t simply crave variety, but clever experimentation with preparation techniques, ingredients and presentation.

Yet hard as we try to only eat great food, on occasion we end up at a corporate banquet, chain restaurant or rehab facility with less-than-stellar cuisine. Now, with the Mobile Foodie Survival Kit, we don’t care.

This handy, go-anywhere necessity box is filled with an array of spices, including wasabi, basil, ginger, curry, Tabasco sauce, soy sauce and more for quick and easy meal enhancement.

Because when that plate of rubbery chicken and bland vegetables is set in front of you, nothing could be less snobby than to doctor up the dishes of everyone at your table so they can enjoy their dinner and learn what it’s like to taste layers of flavors and nuanced structure.

No, they won’t look upon you with indignation and incredulity at your actions, they’ll grab you, place you on your shoulders and parade you around the room, singing “For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow!”

Your grandmother, on the other hand, may be crouched down in the corner sobbing uncontrollably, but everyone else will consider you a hero.

Mobile Foodie Survival Kit: $35