When we die, we want to be buried in an Apple iCoffin. We want to walk into that eternal bright light listening to Lady Gaga while watching the video for “Dick in a Box” and queuing up all those podcasts of NPR’s Fresh Air that we never got to when we were still breathing.
Yes, even in death, we won’t be able live without our Apple products. And we have every generation iPod ever created to prove it.
We put the geek in gay. But we’re proud of our gayeekiness.
So how is it that we’ve overlooked Apple TV all these years? OK, so it’s been less than two since it launched, but that’s eons in terms of our obsessive Apple purchasing behavior.
It was time to put one to the test.
Now in case you’re not familiar, the sleek, low-profile device hooks up to your television (presumably something flat and sexy, not adorned with foil-covered rabbit ears) and brings all the power of iTunes and High Definition into your living room.
Connected to your home’s high-speed Internet, you can rent movies that download in seconds, view photos from MobileMe and Flickr, buy episodes and entire seasons of TV shows, purchase music videos, albums and more.
Put simply, it’s like having an iPod with a really, really, really big screen.
Imagine throwing parties with music videos playing instead of just boring, old audio tracks. Congratulations, you now live in a gay bar. Well, without the overpriced drinks, intoxicated drag queens and smarmy male prostitutes.
Oh, who are we kidding, the overpriced drinks are the only difference between your house and a gay bar.
Like everything Apple, all your purchases will sync up beautifully in your iTunes account, so you can watch the first two seasons of 30 Rock from the comfort of your couch, then catch up on the train, in your car at stoplights, or while having dinner with international dignitaries. (It’s a fact, world leaders just love Tina Fey.)
So forget the looming transfer to Digital TV that may or may not happen this June. If you truly want to revolutionize your couch potatoness, get an Apple TV.
C’mon, join our little cult. It won’t hurt a bit. But beware, once you go App, you never go back.