Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Vittle Cookin’

Lesbians might as well be unicorns. We gay boys see them each as mythical creatures with magical powers (and luxurious, shiny coats!). How else can you explain the way our Sapphic friends upholster furniture, change engine blocks and headline daytime talk shows with such finesse?

Is there anything a lesbian can’t do if she puts her mind to it? We think not. Well, except for sex with a man, but look at Anne Heche. Anything’s possible.

So how excited were we to discover another amazing lesbian with dominance over yet another discipline? When Virginia Willis, a French-trained chef with Southern roots, sent us her latest cookbook, Bon Apetit, Y’all: Recipes and Stories form Three Generations of Southern Cooking, we got naked, covered ourselves in molasses and rolled around in cheese grits.

And we hadn’t even cracked the cover.

But after trying out several of her recipes, we’re completely hooked. And now we want her to move to Dallas and open a restaurant. In our back yard.

Not only are her recipes for Fried Chicken and Gravy, Fried Pork Chops and Crispy Fried Asparagus (recognize a trend?) part of our permanent off-diet rotation, the way she presents every category is sublime, Dixie-whistlin’ entertainment.

Because everyone knows, a good cookbook is more than just a listing of techniques and ingredients. It tells a story through food.

If you wish to pinpoint the exact moment we truly fell in love with her, it was on page five as she gave us the secrets to starters and nibbles.

“I’m here to tell you that a bag of little smokies, a bottle of ketchup and a jar of grape jelly combined in a slow cooker, served with a box of toothpicks on the side, is not an hors d’oeuvre.”

And we’re here to tell you that goes triple for frozen mini quiches from Sam’s Club.

Bon Apetit, Y’all: Recipes and Stories from Three Generations of Southern Cooking: $32.50