Sure, maybe the pollen and pollutants have plugged your sinuses so full that you look more bug-eyed than Star Jones eating a habanero. But even with a broke-down smeller, a true gay can sniff out even a hint of a fab party in the soon-to-be spring air. So break out your Hermès Neti Pot, double up on the Claritin, throw some concealer on that raw, red snout of yours and conquer these events.
We Said Green Beer, Not Beards
Leprechaun Gay Bar Dallas – A Night of Shenanigans!
Friday, March 13, 9:00 p.m.
There are so many green things that bring us joy: Kermit the Frog, money and hunky Green Berets on the down low. But now we have even more to add to the list. The fellas at Guerilla Gay Bar are putting a little homo-hype into St. Patty’s Day. See what happens when you don’t let us march in your parade? We have to channel our creative energy somewhere else.
Location: Announced today, check Web site for details
Support Your Athletic Supporters
Back, Back, Back
Tonight, 7:30 p.m., through April 5
At first pass, the thought of a play about baseball history simultaneously put us into a sports coma and gave us terror flashbacks to our botched Tee Ball days. (Note to coaches: do not put the young gay boys in the far outfield filled with flowers and not expect us to busy ourselves making daisy-chain headbands.) But the more we started thinking about it, where there are sports plays there are locker rooms, and where there are locker rooms there is the holy grail of underwear: the jockstrap. Guess Field of Dreams was right, if you build it (and show off its bulge) they will come!
Cost: $16 – $60
Dallas Theatre Center
3636 Turtle Creek Boulevard, Dallas
Chicks With Picks
Girl Jam 15
Sunday, March 15, starting at 3:00 p.m.
Okay we admit that a lesbian biker gang did not put that Indigo Girls album on our iPod play list at gunpoint as we originally claimed. We put it on there ourselves and know all the words, too. Whew, getting that off of our chest felt almost as good as coming out of the closet. And now that we are flamingly proud girl-rock lovers, you’ll know where to find us Sunday. We’ll be at Sue Ellen’s rocking out to the sounds of artists like Ciao Bella, Anton Shaw and Tiffany Shea.
2014 Throckmorton, Dallas
Croon a Boone
Glenn Miller Orchestra with Debby Boone
Friday – Sunday, March 13 – 15
Some of you may know Rosemary Clooney for her music. Others may just read the word “Clooney” and drift off to explicit daydreams about the other Clooney, her nephew: George. “You Light Up My Life” songstress Debby Boone is joining the Glenn Miller Orchestra for a night of big band and big voices celebrating Rosemary’s signature style. Now, back to that daydream where George is wearing nothing but a UPS hat and carrying that “special delivery” package.
Tickets: $22 – $105
Morton H. Meyerson Symphony Center
2301 Flora Street, Dallas
Big Hairy Stamens
Daily activities through April 12
Tip toe through the tulips, pansies. It’s time to frolic in the gardens like big ol’ faeries do amongst 66 acres of petals, buds and stems. (No, not that kind, Mr. Phelps.) But if you are planning to take your glamour shots amongst the wisteria, be prepared to duke it out with many a bride-to-be waiting for the perfect photo opp.
Tickets: Adults $9.50, Valet $5
8617 Garland Road, Dallas