Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Donkey Hunched

Advice for the modern gay is still surprisingly hard to come by. No longer are we restricted to remain in the shadows or to keep our lives in secret, but adult life as an out gay male is only now being pioneered.

True, those of us who live in bustling gayborhoods can reach out to our feybors, but their advice might be stereotypically limited to what’s-the-best-ointment-for-rug-burn or how-to-improvise-a-martini-shaker-when-camping.

And mom refuses to help ever since we asked her if she thought Kegel exercises would work for us, too.

Lewd references aside, obtaining impartial advice from a confidential source that’s incapable of gossip has finally arrived. Launched mere weeks ago, Hunch.com is the answer our questioning souls have been searching for.

Whether you’re pondering switching jobs or genders, the new tool will produce calculated advice tailored explicitly for you. Users enter any question, and after answering up to ten personal, sometimes quirky, questions based on their preferences, Hunch provides an informed solution. (In the past, it took us up to ten cocktails before we arrived at a solution, and rarely was it informed.)

Unlike us, Hunch doesn’t need to fuel itself with Red Bull vodkas or Sex and the City marathons. Instead, the tool grows smarter over time thanks to user input and by allowing decision-seekers to rule on the competency of its advice.

Considering the volume of intimate decisions we need help with, don’t be surprised if the algorithms end up producing a fey and slutty service by summer.