Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Improving Our Dry Queening

As American Idol has proven, some queens (Clay Aiken, Adam Lambert) are better off after a makeover. For Earth Day, the biggest queen of them all (sorry Bobby Trendy) gets hers.

Mother Earth, you’ve always been a little wide in the midsection, but we gays are here to help, one item of clothing at a time.

A lot of attention has been applied to the horrors of the plastic grocery bag, and an equal marketing force has surfaced, overwhelming shoppers with reusable canvas bags in every color of the PFLAG rainbow.

Like the iPods of the green sector, reusable grocery bags are everywhere.

But that’s so 2008. As gays, it’s our spiritual duty to highlight the next trend in the high-stakes reusable-bagging industry: eco-friendly dry cleaning bags.

We never liked the plastic surrounding our dry cleaned items anyways. The transparent bags put our brown leather chaps on unintended display, on a monthly basis (they seem to be a stain-magnet).

No longer must we hang our head in embarrassment at the dry cleaners, we’ve got Green Garmento.

Still pioneering the product landscape, the Garmento isn’t as advanced in style as its canvas grocery bag cousins, but considering that 300 million pounds of single-use dry-cleaning bags clog landfills annually, making the switch will help makeover Big E on her big day.

Unfortunately, most dry cleaners we’ve encountered have yet to offer the Green Garmento in store, but that’s why Al Gore invented the internet: for NSA encounters to create an instantly accessible world marketplace.

When the bag isn’t shielding our unmentionables from the prying eyes of fellow patrons, it moonlights as a hanging hamper or a duffel bag.

Environmentally conscious and versatile? Momma Earth will be proud we’ve found a new fling!

$10 and up (discounts apply to bulk orders)