Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Un-daming Our Dentals

We sure put our mouths through a lot. There’s the coffee in the morning, the wine…in the morning, the wheat grass shots in the afternoon and the wine in the evening. That’s not even including the deplorable actions our mouths endure between midnight and early morning. For all of the above dental infractions, we could use a little to-go help to remain in tip-bottom shape.

No longer do we need to meekly cover our pearly whites during those moments when our lipstick has rubbed on our teeth or when our third glass of Malbec is diminishing our smile. Flashlites (not to be confused with another closely-named novelty we keep ready in our homosatchels) allows us to use our teeth without any inhibitions.

The tiny ampoules touch-up our smiles instantly in a simple action that’s about as discreet as reapplying our glittery lip gloss. After the application onto each tooth, any stain that was tempted to remain has vanished and we’re ready to blind others with the unnatural hue of our smiles.

If it’s not an issue of tone that concerns you, perhaps it’s a matter of impromptu brushings. We’ve McGuyvered many a contraption at 8:00 a.m. to brush our teeth after waking up in a strange bed. Thanks to the Colgate Wisp, we won’t be chewing on the abandoned gum we can procure from the bottom of nearby railings or frantically picking our teeth with our credit card.

Within the miniscule device, which is about the size of a car key, enough toothpaste exists to refresh one’s breath and clear one’s crevices from the previous night’s harm. The invention is a savior for those, who like us, satisfy their cardio requirements on their bi-weekly walks of shame.

Pack of seven single-use Flashlites: $10
Available nationwide at Sephora and online
www.gosmile.com

4-pack of Colgate Wisps: $3
16-pack: $8
A 50-cent coupon is available at www.colgatewisp.com

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