Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Pong Sportsmanship

If more sports were like beer pong, the filled in “jock” checkbox on our Gay.com profile would actually be true.

In what other game can you win by losing?

Didn’t land the ball in any of your beer-cup targets? Who cares? You’re now inebriated and nobody judges you because it’s all just a game. Perfect!

But for the summer party season, we’d prefer to discontinue the use of our Danish dining room table as the prime arena for the sport. We have no problem bending over backwards for hosts’ demands (pun intended), but traveling with the awkward table is the least of our worries when using it for the sloppiest game in history.

With a Pong a Long table, we’re sure to be at the top of party guest-lists this summer, without ruining our sweet Scandinavian treasure.

The Pong a Long beer pong table folds up into an easy-to-carry briefcase-like shape, giving us the appearance and agility of a professional. Once at the soirée, the carrying-case unfolds into a regulation-size game table, complete with official sporty markings that make more game-play sense than the water stains on our old wooden table.

It may not be football, track, or hell, even volleyball, but the dedication to the sport that Pong a Long helps us achieve is sure to bring tears to pop’s eyes, which is smart because since we have a limp aim, we may be asking for a part of his liver sooner than we’d hoped…