Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Tag, They’re It

While we enjoy select members of the community riding our asses and/or burning the rubber, it’s not the case when we’re in our vehicles (unless on all fours in the backseat).

Like strict bottoms, we try our hardest to avoid getting too close to others’ ends on the freeway, yet it’s our tails that others seem to aggressively pursue. Unfortunately, cutting back on our squat routine won’t thwart them.

But perhaps Zapatag will.

The new website allows those of us who prefer avoiding conflicts (and collisions) a passive aggressive way to call out dimwitted drivers. Once safely home, we can log onto the service and rant about a particular motorist, publicizing their infraction right along with their license plate number.

In the past we resorted to our faithful bumper stickers to ward off those, who by all means of logic should not have been awarded driving licenses. But the effect of our sticker reading Caution: We go from zero to bitch in 2.5 seconds was lost as soon as drivers pulled up to notice Sarah McLachlan blaring and the glitter being harshly blown away from our cheeks.

We’re not positive that hurriedly spreading on the Internets that 5KMCCJ “really annoyed us when they cut us off, causing us to miss the exit to the Pride parade” will teach them a lesson, but it’ll surely make us feel better.

Now, with knowledge of Zapatag’s existence, we drive more cautiously than before, just as if we were Driving Miss Daisychain. After all, if we were to ever feel the need to jump on another motorist’s ass, they’d surely find our vanity plate, TEABGME, impossibly easy to recall.