Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Alternative Lifestyle

The only clear object we see our future in is the bottle of Absolut calling our name from the cupboards. And we’ve heard something about crystal balls providing a good medium for séances, but have so far only worked our magic on orbs of flesh-tone. Both of the aforementioned devices have given us a glimpse of a messy future, with a chance of a dislocated jaw and the possibility for a doctor’s visit.

But what if we told you that here, on the gloriously gay interwebs, there were indeed tangible crystal balls that you could reach out and feel, to see into the future and gauge how long one might expect to live?

We’ve been doing just that – calculating our life-expectancy by fondling LivingTo100.com.

Created by the curly-headed and cute Dr. Thomas Perls (author of a book by the same name), this web calculator utilizes the latest scientific and medical information to determine how long you’ll live based upon 40 questions. The online examination covers everything from gym time to cholesterol levels, and once completed, gives a rather comprehensive-for-its-price (free) tailored report with advice on how to extend whatever magic number one ends up with.

Thanks to overcompensation at the gym and a debilitating addiction to eating only what Madonna eats, according to LivingTo100, our final resting age frustratingly lies well outside of Viagra’s (and most rent boys’) age maximums.

Considering the calculator’s scientific comprehensiveness, we’re hoping Dr. Perls adds new data to its longevity advice, informing us of how to enjoy the golden years right up to our final tea-bagging moments.