Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

We Can’t Miss Our Soaps

Our love for soap is obvious (Beer Soap, Man Junk), but we’re really dirty boys deep down… dirty boys with a thing for jocks.

Let us bring you up to speed then, for why we’ve been spending so much time in the bathroom. No mom, it’s not for the same reason you (rightly) accused us of when we were 14; and no, young twink who calls us grandpa ‘cause we’re 30-adjacent, it’s not because of common geriatric problems – it’s Jock Soap that’s been holding us up in the shower.

The brand’s packaging might not contain all that fizzle and pop that other bath products use to catch our eyes (throw some sparkles in front of us and we’re like a queer caught in headlights), but after all, jock’s have never been fond of the sparkle; in our experience and exhaustive research, we’ve learned that they prefer to get down to business.

And that’s what Jock Soap accomplishes best, we believe. The brand has a comparatively extensive variety of products that throw us down and do what they tell us they’re going to do, like a jock would.

Also like the brand’s namesake, after a night spent with its Revivify-C Revitalizing Facial Compound, we wake up glowing and feeling younger than we did the day before.

The line’s facial, shaving and hair products are all knockouts, as well as the product that made Jock Soap a hit: yup, soap. For obvious reasons, we recommend the ginger/orange-scented “Tackle Me Jock Soap.”

Though tough, the brand is also sensitive, pledging that it tests its products on real men, not animals. And to that we ask Jock Soap, “Is there an opening in your product testing department?”

Revivify-C Revitalizing Facial Compound, $76
Tackle Me Jock Soap, $9