Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Getting Our Drank On

It’s after our fifth energy drink or three-shot mocha that we start to worry (and begin hearing colors). For some reason, though we’re jittering like the San Andreas Fault by noon, we continue to consume daily energy drinks.

It used to be that a lunchtime cocktail quelled any seizures we may have experienced from caffeine overdosing, but now that vodka + any energy drink is the libation du jour, we return to the office and frighten our coworkers with unintended Rain Man impersonations.

Thankfully, Drank is here to grab Red Bull by its balls and return us to the pace of the living.

No, the beverage isn’t the zillionth competitor in the oversaturated energy drink market – it’s the antithesis; Drank’s purpose is to calm, de-stress and relax its drinkers.

In fact, the melatonin, valerian root and rose hips inside the drink slow us down so well that we’re thrown into reverse, making us totally understand the drink’s past-tensed name.

Of course the real test of any new “sports” drink is how it pairs with vodka, and because it tastes surprisingly similar to energy drinks, Drank passes that exam.

Now, instead of returning to the office spitting out scatterbrained and sped-up sentences, our speech has returned to the way we prefer it after a lunchtime sports-beverage cocktail: slurred.

Available at most 7-Elevens
Our in bulk online for $40 – $100