Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Here Comes The Bribe

The law might not allow us all to walk down the aisle (or dance, if you found the summer’s viral wedding video inspiring), but unfortunately breakups don’t give a shit about LGBT discrimination.

Unlike bad fashion choices, none of us are immune to a split with a partner (or two, we don’t discriminate).

While summer ends, so do most of our May – September relationships. But what to do with the promise ring he gave us on the P-town Pier at 3:30 a.m. on the Fourth? Or the titanium Swarovski-studded cock-ring he left behind in our no-no drawer? Return them? Don’t get crazy! If Ivana Trump taught us anything, it’s “don’t get mad; get everything.”

Since our tastes include an affinity for chiseled go-go gods, “everything” would include a stack of dollar bills and a week’s supply of antibiotics. Instead, we’ll opt to sell off the wares they left behind with the help of two websites, Ex-cessories and I Do, Now I Don’t.

The sites provide a marketplace for the brokenhearted to find both catharsis and extra cash by selling their ex’s stuff. On top, bottom or versatile of that, the sites provide a forum for the newly single to commiserate, which is probably a better way to mourn than our old breakup standby, the neighborhood spa.

Both marketplaces have a disproportionate cache of items from/for women, but their sections for men are growing, and include cufflinks, watches, rings, tie tacks, money clips, etc.

As for the titanium “accessory” our ex left with us, it makes for a striking men’s bracelet (we’ve always been size queens). A little bleach on a cotton swab and a day’s spent soaking in Lysol and it’ll be good to go to the highest bidder!

Fees and commissions vary
Check the websites for more information