We’re not afraid of much, except being chased by men wielding chainsaws and spending too much time in Arlington. Well, thanks to one attraction, we’ve faced both fears head-on — and lived to tell the terrifying tale.
In fact, the Boneyard Haunted House is frightening on so many levels. It occupies a whopping 40,000 square feet of a partially abandoned mall (see, already sounds like a Scooby Doo episode, doesn’t it?), making it the largest creepy attraction in the world (if you don’t count Neverland Ranch).
It’s so big that it takes more than 30 minutes to walk through (longer if you have to stop to dry your pants).
Ranging from gruesome and disturbing (dead children climbing the walls come to mind) to claustrophobic and mind-numbing (the room with the chain link fences and strobe lights nearly sent us into a fit), no matter what your bravery level, something is guaranteed to scare you.
Haunted Houses are big business in Texas and this is the best we’ve ever experienced. And because Halloween is like Gay Christmas, this is like hitting Santa’s workshop before the big day.
But you know the best part? They’ve got a bar! We know we needed at least a couple ice-cold beers once the whole ordeal was over to, as our Mom likes to say, “calm our nerves”.
Oh, and proceeds from ticket sales benefit the Special Olympics. Now that’s the kind of “blood” money that can actually do some good.
VIP Fast-Pass Tickets: $35
(Discount coupons available online)
2921 East Division Street, Arlington
(a.k.a. Six Flags Mall)