Receiving manly packages on a monthly basis makes our legs quiver better than an intense squat/thrust routine ever could. But receiving monthly manly packages that keep us so well groomed that we can receive other manly packages knocks our tube socks straight… err, gayly off.
Let us introduce you, then, to Automated Man, a monthly visitor for men. Thankfully, unlike for our fag hags, this visitor is welcome (though we’ll make sure to be bitchy for three days after it arrives, you know – for dramatic effect).
We stumbled across the monthly subscription of manly grooming products by accident after Googling the search terms “automatic man.” (Hey, it was a lonely night.) What we found was nearly as good – a few sex toys and this unique automatic service that delivers a care package of grooming goods to your doorstep once a month.
Now we can go along our Mary way, shopping for the things that truly matter ($600 APC work boots; employed tops), and let the Automated Man service take care of the pesky little toiletry items we often forget to pick up until the last minute. Razor blades, mouthwash, toothpaste, floss, body wash and even condoms all arrive next to our Netflix and cookie-of-the-month deliveries.
If only we could get a man delivered to our doorsteps as well… (Oh wait – we can.) If only we could get a man delivered to our doorsteps who didn’t charge $150 an hour as well…
Automated Man is $40 a month (with a $140 value in the first month’s package)