Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Seasonal Tone-Up

What constitutes a miracle? Oprah’s (or at least Gayle’s) image appearing in silhouette in our toast? An open urinal next to Chace Crawford at The Manhole? Or how about making it through the fall and holidays with at least two notches of our four-pack intact for the next Speedo-season (which starts in February, according to our calendars).

Yup, we’d pray to multi-grain toast, Ellen and Portia or the Lap-Band’s charity department for that gift.

Close enough, yet not quite miraculous, is Abdominal Toning Cream from Sigma Skin. Consisting of Guarana and bitter orange, Sigma attests the cream prevents and breaks down fat deposits through lypolysis, thanks to the natural Hesperetin found in the aforementioned ingredients.

There are lots of tongue-twisting terms involved in this magical product when we only want tongues running down our off-season abs, so Sigma’s claim of abdominal reduction in 86% of users, though lofty, keeps us optimistic.

Don’t get us wrong – this won’t downsize guys from Perez Hilton to Days Inn, but the sculpting effects are a bit noticeable. Users apply the toning cream once a day for 28 days, and afterward might actually notice what most in the study found – a bit less fat in the waist area.

Combined with Photoshop, airbrushing and a strict focus on our holiday liquid-diet (passed down from grandma, with two olives, please), Sigma’s ambitious product might help us make it past the Halloqueen candy-bar binging without looking like a Kris Kringle in training.


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