Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Unnecessary Stuffedness

When we heard about a new burger joint opening up in Addison called Smashburger, we were a little skeptical.

We thought it was going to be like our friend who presses down and flattens out any sandwich put in front of her before eating it. She can take six inches and pound it into one with a single thrust of her wrist.

Scary.

Anyway, our point is that we’d never heard of Denver-based Smashburger and therefore had no expectations one way or the other. Then we heard that the first location in the DFW area is owned by two Dallas Cowboys: Marc Colombo and Leonard Davis.

Again, no expectations.

We couldn’t pick a Dallas Cowboy out of a line up if he was wearing his jersey and helmet and standing below a neon sign reading, “This is a Dallas Cowboy.” But name a national figure skating champion and we can give you his or her height, weight, birthday, known allergies and favorite character on Desperate Housewives. Shocker, right?

But when we were invited to a pre-opening tasting of Smashburger’s offerings, we decided it was worth a drive north of the border to Addison. And we were happy to see that the Dallas Cowboys are so tight-knit. This operation truly is a team effort. Roger Staubach on the shake machine, Emmitt Smith flipping burgers and Troy Aikman parking cars. It just made our cold little hearts melt. What supportive friends!

Or maybe that didn’t happen. We had some very vivid dreams after our Smashburger indulgence last night.

We took a group with us so that we could try a little of everything and let’s just say we pretty much covered the entire menu in one sitting. And the burgers weren’t just good, they were some of the best we’ve had recently (including a $36 version in Beverly Hills).

The “smash” in Smashburger refers to the way they handle their meat. (OK, we promised we wouldn’t go there, but it’s so easy). They take a big ball o’ beef and ¡SMASH! it down onto the grill, searing in all the delicious flavor. (Of course, the butter on the grill doesn’t hurt, either).

You can get it plain, with your own selection of toppings, or choose from a half-dozen topping combinations that’ll thrill your taste buds. The Lonestar Smashburger is unique to Texas, consisting of a third- or half-pound 100% Angus Beef patty, cheddar cheese, chili, diced onions, diced tomatoes and fresh jalapeños on a chipotle bun. We picture Richard Simmons standing in the corner crying like that sad guy from the Village People in those ’70s anti-pollution commercials.

The Mushroom Swiss Chicken Sandwich? Poultry perfection. Salads? Loaded with ranch, bacon and cheese, they’re not exactly healthy, but they’re definitely satisfying.

And those Smashfries? Thin, crispy fries are tossed with rosemary, olive oil and garlic for a wonderful step-up from typical Freedom Fries and their boring brethren. And you can even get them with made with sweet potatoes. Yum.

Other sides are also winners, including the veggie frites (flash-fried asparagus, green beans and carrots without breading), fried pickles (chips, not spears!) and addictively thin Haystack Onions.

Shakes are made with Häagen-Dazs (sorry we dissed you last week, dear friends!) and bottled beer is a recession-friendly 2 bucks a bottle. The priciest half-pound burger on the menu clocks in at a mere $6.99, so if you’re looking to score (see how we bring it back to the football theme?) after a cheap date, bring him or her here because afterwards, you’ll want to do nothing but lie around in your underwear and moan.

Sexy!

Smashburger
4980 Belt Line Road, Addison
(Just west of the tollway near the Improv)
(214) 884-1124
www.smashburger.com

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