Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The High-Heeled Holidays

Santa isn't perfect. When we were four or so (young enough to be Madonna's boyfriends), Santa preferred spiked eggnog over milk and cookies, and often mixed up the gifts meant for our hanging stockings with the ones intended for our sister's. Not that we minded much.

Now, when we head to the local watering hole to sit on Hunky Santa's lap, he's, sadly, not stuffing gifts inside of anything, including our socks. To remedy the travesties for merry gay kids and the merry gay kids at heart are high-heel Christmas stockings.

Yea, the hanging stilettos can be quite obnoxious and scream “Ho, ho, ho” to prudish house guests, but look at the bright patented-leather side: more room for Santa – or for whoever it is that brings you joy after you sit on his lap and whisper in his ear – to stuff glorious gifts.

If you don't think the pumps will help you reach your Yuletide gay (both in the 50s and the modern use of the word) threshold, the Homo Depot offers a bounty of holiday pride, including rainbow ornaments, rainbow Christmas trees, rainbow wreaths, and yes, even rainbow Stars of David.

You said Mary Christmas, didn't you?

Red Pump Christmas Stockings, $6 – $8
Ornaments, trees and wreath prices vary