It’s Christmas Eve and the clock is ticking if you want to get us something to open tomorrow morning. We give you the gift of insider tips, gossip, laughter, and the occasional sexual innuendo a couple hundred times a year, so we understand your desperation to thank us with material possessions and delicious food and drink.
Sure, we could pretend that this is the time of year to love one another and pray for an end to war and hatred. But hard as we try, we’re just not that emotionally motivated. Heck, that Christmas song about the little kid buying shoes for his dying mom just irritates us with its cloying sentimentality. Is it wrong that it sometimes makes us giggle? Perhaps.
Below is a list of some of our favorite things that can still be purchased in time to be couriered to the Gay List Mansion and placed under our 32-foot-tall Organic Spruce tree with Swarovski Crystal lights, Prada ornaments and Tiffany tinsel.
Think of this as our grown-up Christmas list. Peace on Earth (and batteries) not included.
You Better Scotch Out
When’s the last time you picked up an 18-year-old for $160? Usually that involves breakfast and a ride to the mall, too. But this of-legal-age gift is The Macallan Sherry Oak 18 Years Old.
It’s an ultimate indulgence for Scotch lovers of any age and it comes in a box so pretty, all you need is a bow.
Available at fine liquor stores in Dallas/Fort Worth
It Came Upon A Midnight Queer
For the drama queen in your life, what better gift than one of comedy, tragedy and musical medleys? Order season tickets to Uptown Players, the gayest theater troupe in town.
2010 season offerings include that horsy play, Equus, as well as Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, Regrets Only, Forbidden Broadway and Closer to Heaven.
Season tickets: $105 – $130
Add “Broadway Our Way” for just $35
I Saw Mommy Wearing Tighty Whities
In our house, we don’t hang stockings. Instead, you’ll find the latest lines of sexy underwear hanging by the chimney with care. Andrew Christian has great red underwear, too, so we can be traditional in our décor. Pop over to Union Jack for a great selection and surprise that someone special in your life (size Medium, please).
Rudolph The Smooth-Skinned Reindeer
The gift of beauty is always one to treasure. Plus, it’s far more meaningful to the recipient than a giant tin can of stale popcorn in three flavors. At Advanced Skin Fitness, all gift cards are 20% off if you purchase today (spend $80, get $100!). Get one for Santa and hear him shout with delight, “Ho! Ho! Botox!” And nothing says Happy Holidays like a GC for plastic surgery.
It’s Beginning To Taste A Lot Like Christmas
The idea of NorthPark Center on Christmas Eve is about as pleasant as debating health care and immigration while carving the Christmas goose. But if you have a plan, you can be in and out faster than Sarah Palin at a convenience store buying that Playgirl featuring Levi. That’s why we recommend NOKA Chocolate. Just outside Neiman Marcus, they have the most delightful chocolates and truffles imaginable and they’ve got them wrapped and ready to go.
Gifts start at $8.50
Pâté In A Manger
Food is always welcome, and our newest favorite gay hotspot is Dish at ilume.
The menu is well rounded and very reasonably priced for the high-quality dishes. From flatbreads to Flat Iron steaks (or the incredible, off-the-menu pâté appetizer), a gift certificate or romantic dinner would make this the best Christmas ever.
Happy Holidays from everyone at Gay List Daily!