Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

The Latest Winehouse

A lot of things fall out of our purse once it's opened. Now we can add wine to the lisp list.

Boxes of wine are items we'd rather leave to the meemaws who shop at Wal-Mart, or to store in our fallout shelter in case of an emergency (like a bad hairday). But to carry around the beaches of Fire Island, South Beach, Santa Monica and more this summer, a little thinking outside the box can make bags of wine easier to swallow.

Let us introduce you, ravishing readers, to the must have accessory of the summer, both on the gay beach and at the nursing home: the Baggy Winecoat.

The latest way to contain or travel with our favorite libation is so clever it might steal attention away from the debut of our Speedo-bod (we worked hard paid lots for it!), but we don't mind: after a few pours to neighboring beach blanket boys from the convenient and unobtrusive spout, our Speedo-bod will look all the more tantalizing.

To fill the summer must-have one simply removes the bag of Franzia (or your boxed brand of choice) from the box (yes, this means you must purchase it from the store first – we recommend sunglasses and a Kim Zolciak Collection wig) and places it in the style-conscious Baggy Winecoat.

From that point on, it's all about portable convenience, most lushiously (on purpose typo) evident in the fact that Baggy Winecoat won’t tip over, regardless of how tipped over it makes us, due to its sturdy rubber bottom – there's a joke in there somewhere, but considering today’s story covers boxes/bags of wine, we’d like to stay as classy as the subject matter.

Available in black, red and white