Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Hot Pockets

Strap-ons aren’t really our area of expertise. But sometimes we lack the necessary equipment to get the job done. As in pockets.

Whether it’s our periwinkle Jean-Paul Gaultier running shorts or that pair of women’s jeans our booties looked too good in to worry about social stigma, there are often unfortunate dire straits for us gays when we need a quick place to put our fake I.D. (it says we were born in 1993), an emergency Magnum (we’re optimists) and the folded up picture of a salad we plan to look at for dinner.

Instead of tucking each item in the waistband of our 2Xists like classy, industrious queens, we now have the PortaPocket to carry our extra loads.

One of those ideas you wish you would’ve thought of, PortaPockets wrap snuggly around whichever body part we choose (thighs, waist or mouthwatering bicep as pictured) boasting different sizes of discreet, sealable pockets to stash our goods.

Our favorite PortaPocket option is wrapped around our thighs, keeping our keys and cash safe when we go for a jog or wear bottom-less (Freudian slip) pocket-less sweat shorts to the gym to “workout.” While the thigh strap does the trick in these hypothetical situations, if we’re wearing a skin-tight pair of pocket-less denim (don’t put it past us), the waist belt version of the PortaPocket makes the most sense.

Either way, even if pants or shorts do in fact include pockets, through a variety of methods, PortaPocket alleviates them of their bulky duties, allowing our assets and true “personal effects” to shine through.

Essentials kit (thigh strap and one small pocket), $19.95
A la carte prices, $8.95 – $24.95
www.portapocket.com
(Note: their website has a funky filtering software enabled that doesn't like our servers. If you click above and it doesn't work, try typing the URL directly into your browser)

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