Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Bottles, Up!

Shame isn’t a word that exists in the lexicon of the gay community. Yes, it’s often misspelled as “Shaim” on the Wal-Mart purchased poster boards held by the Westboro “Baptist Church” protesting outside of a Lady Gaga concert. But it’s one of the very few things that never make it past our lips.

Still, our keen ability to gleefully guzzle an entire bottle of wine in one sitting (if we were a comic book superhero, it’d be our superpower) isn’t the first item we’d gloat about ourselves (see: our spinning-class-forged booty, our collection of Twilight figurines). The new “Giant Wine Glass,” now available on Amazon, is here to help us hide our insatiable thirst.

We’re certainly not demure divas, but concealing our zeal for entire cases of wine might help us reinvent our reputation. Sure, the Alice-In-Wonderland play on size of the giant wine glass makes it unmistakably larger than the run-of-the-mill-winery’s offering, but who are we? Size queens? (Yes.)

Besides, what the world (esp. Maggie Griffin) really needs is a boxed-wine size glass. Screw the bottle. Sure, the arthritis afflicting most Franzia-enthusiasts might prevent them from lifting such a weight to their lips, but we prefer to see the oversized glass as half-full.

No, really, we prefer to see it at least half-full, meaning another trip to Whole Foods’ Wine Store…