Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Horne-y For Some Comfort Food?

Pancakes, biscuits, gravy, potato hash, brown sugar bacon, chorizo, peppers, mozzarella and herbs. On Top Chef, these would be the ingredients used to create a spectacular brunch for 300 people at Padma’s estate. At Horne & Decker, they all appear on a single plate.

Let’s get this out of the way right now: If you come to Horne & Decker and order the Fruit Plate or Granola & Yogurt, we feel the deepest sadness in our souls that you’re in such a confused state. Frankly, we’re not sure why they even offer such items unless it’s simply to keep their Food Pyramid from completely toppling over into a puddle of cheesy-greasy-gravyliciousness.

Horne & Decker is all about comfort food, plain and simple. And with comfort, comes a little lard. They just launched their Hangover Brunch menu this past Sunday and we were there for the full spectacle. The house was completely packed and the room was abuzz with happy, tipsy, anything-but-hungry people. Could it be the bottomless cavalcade of cocktails available for a scant $12? Perhaps. The smoky, sugary, legendary Brown Sugar Bacon? Most definitely. Or maybe all the beautiful gay boys and girls who have flocked to H&D like flames to a moth? Oh yes, indeedy.

Excess abounds, but that said, nothing is obnoxious. For instance, the Double Dekker, which we described in the first paragraph (and pictured here, too) may sound like a hodge-podge disaster disguised as a mere heart attack. But surprisingly – joyfully – every bite was delicious. And it became a true game at our table to try to get a perfect bite that featured a morsel of every sweet, savory, crunchy, smooth and spicy component available. There was hardly room on the fork, but we made it work.

Corey’s Calzone (and no, that’s not a euphemism) is stuffed with scrambled eggs, Italian sausage, cheese, mushrooms and pepperoncini peppers. Next vacation, we’re taking one of these as our travel pillow aboard the plane. That way, in between snores, we can snack a bit and dream of our time at Horne & Decker. After all, how can a private villa in Tahiti possibly compare?

Ginger Snap Pancakes are delicious. Just make sure they bring you syrup. Not sure if they’re supposed to come with it, but we asked them to get some to our table on the double. After all, it takes syrup to truly bring out the mildly spicy ginger flavor that warms us like a pervy uncle on a cold Christmas night.

And if you’re one of those who hates breakfast with the passion of a thousand crazed Koran-burning preachers, rest assured, the lunch portion of the menu is totally solid. Fried chicken looked fantastic, but we opted instead for the Spicy Sloppy Joe & Fries. Nothing fancy, just the perfect hangover food, or as someone at our table put it, “Genius!”

Most everything on the menu falls in the Under $10 range, so it’s a great value. But the real bargain is the $12 Bottomless Bevvies we mentioned earlier. Start with a Bloody Mary (the only true way to begin Brunch) or Bloody Maria (tequila instead of vodka) then switch it up with a Frozen Margarita. Or maybe a Michelada. Then coast into 4:00 p.m. with a Mimosa or 17. They’ll even bring a carafe of your favorite to the table for immediate refills when you need them most.

So, get yourself to Horne & Dekker. And fast. If it was this popular the first day, it can only get crazier from here. Reservations are strongly recommended, and we suggest asking for a table outside (weather permitting, of course) or along one of the outer edges of the restaurant. The seats in the middle left us constantly assaulted by servers and bussers racing around to pamper their customers. If you do find yourself in the middle row, though, keep your elbows close to your body, minimize the hand gestures and you’ll be just fine.

Until Sunday, we’ll dream of you fondly, Horne & Dekker. But we’ll be fine, don’t worry about us. When nobody was looking, we put a pancake in our pocket and a biscuit in our briefs, and we’ve been snacking ever since.

Horne & Dekker
2323 North Henderson, Dallas
(214) 821-9333
www.horneanddekker.com

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