Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Rubber, The Right Way

There are some things in this world that need no improving. The wheel. Coca-Cola. Sombreros. They’re as good as they’re going to get, so why bother changing them? Unless you’re that crazy Dyson guy who makes everything better, just leave well enough alone.

So when we got a package of Sensis QuikStrips Condoms in the mail, we figured they were just another standard contraceptive device. Maybe they featured a new texture or flavor. Speaking of, how cool would a Red Bull condom be? Every time you give a guy a beej, you’ll have energy for hours! That would totally rock. (And doing the math, after a single Saturday night, we’d be awake for the next six days in a row. Think of the productivity!)

Alas, the QuikStrips had no exotic taste, aromatherapy fragrance or herringbone pattern to make them stand out. What they do have, however, is something even better. Each condom features two breakaway polyethylene QuikStrips that make putting on a condom easier than making toast.

Simply put the condom on top of Mr. Pokey, pull the QuikStrips downward and the condom quickly falls into place. You never have to touch the condom (so no contamination if you’ve just been slicing jalapeños) and there’s no risk of accidental ripping (in case you haven’t had a manicure recently).

Thirty percent of all condoms are put on incorrectly, to which we say, those people shouldn’t be having sex in the first place. But now, the lazy, the stupid or those of us who just enjoy having the latest gadget can have wild, crazy protected sex with one less thing to worry about.

Part or their marketing campaign stresses that these condoms are so easy to apply, you can do it blindfolded. Well, we tried it and they’re right. It really is that simple.

Plus, we saved the blindfold just in case that next guy from Adam4Adam looks nothing like his photo. After all, if he took three buses and walked six blocks to get to our house, the kindest thing we can do is have pity sex. And making him wear a brown paper bag over his head could come across as demeaning.

Besides, with Sensis QuikStrips, we’ll be in and out faster than ever.

Or click here for a free sample