Direct from the Subtlety Bureau of the United States comes our latest infatuation: Inchwear T-shirts.
Finally, no more covert operations at the grocery store trying to figure out what’s behind the bulge in the pants of the guy ahead of us in line. A quick glimpse usually gives us a pretty good idea (and a quick feel yields even more accuracy), but figuring out the exact length requires way too much math. And quite frankly, there’s nothing sexy about the quadratic equation.
Besides, last time we pulled out our compass and protractor on a dude, we found out the size of his fist, which might’ve been handy information if he hadn’t hit us with it.
Yet had Mr. Handsome been wearing an Inchwear tee, we’d know right away if he had the right to be in the “8 Inches or More” line because these shirts lay it all out there for the world to judge see. Choose t-shirts adorned with 6”, 7”, 8”, 9” or (Holy Schamoly!) 10+” clearly indicated on the front or back. It’s like the CARFAX of gay cruising. You know exactly what you’re getting into.
Even if he’s lying, though, half the fun is proving him wrong. And if he really deserves the Grower shirt instead of the Tripod he wore when he picked you up, then you know right where to order a new one.
T-Shirts start at $14.95
Gay List Giveaway!
The good folks at Inchwear are giving us two dozen shirts for lucky readers. Simply fill out the contact us form completely (direct e-mails will be disqualified) and indicate whether you prefer a “Stay Hard” shirt or one that says “Tell Your Tonsils I Said Hello.” Winners will be chosen at random and contacted by representatives at Inchwear to receive their free shirt. Contest ends tonight at 11:59 p.m. Central. Limit one entry per person. Good luck!