Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Amy Get Your Glue Gun

Ever since Amy Sedaris’ recipe for her Li’l Smokey Cheeseball got us invited back to Martha Stewart’s house for her annual slumber party, we’ve known we could trust Amy to make us look good in any social situation. That particular recipe came from her bestselling book on entertaining, I Like You: Hospitality Under the Influence. It was the perfect mixture of laugh-out-loud humor, zany photographs and just-crazy-enough-to-be-true recipes and helpful tips.

Well, now she’s back with a book that’s perfect for our country’s current economic strife: Simple Times: Crafts for Poor People.

The holidays are just around the corner, after all, so what better way to utilize our steamer trunks full of sequins, wine corks and pipe cleaners than to make personalized gifts for each of our friends and family members.

Now that he’s born-again again, Uncle Stu will surely enjoy Holy Bible bookends made out of Bible-shaped bricks.

And ever since Grandma started shrinking from osteoporosis, her sole dream in life has been to reach the Ensure on the top shelf of the refrigerator. Sounds like Old Lady needs a pair of hand-crafted tin-can stilts, right?

And for our bald friends who have everything, why not the gift of irony: a lampshade made of human hair? We can practically hear the thank you notes being hand calligraphied as we speak.

There are also tons of hints for making the most of your crafting experience, like the importance of safety, which is outlined in graphic detail. There are also eight pages of photos demonstrating proper pre- and post-craft stretching routines. “Flex anything that dangles.” This is wisdom we can all live by, and not just for crafting purposes.

And because Amy’s always looking out for her gays, there’s an entire chapter devoted solely to sausages. Imagine the invitations we’ll get once everyone on The A-List New York discovers that we are armed with our very own Chorizo recipe! Finally, we’ll be cool just like they are!

But if crafting isn’t your thing, don’t worry. You can still get everyone on your gift list something that will bring them weeks of enjoyment, possibly even months. And that’s their very own copy of Simple Times, a basketful of popsicle sticks and ten reams of colored felt. We think felt comes in reams, but we haven’t gotten to that chapter yet.

Releases today in bookstores and crafty cottages everywhere

Click here to view excerpts from the book.

Photo credit: Danielle St. Laurent

Coming Soon: The Gay List Daily interview with Amy Sedaris!