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Home, Sweet Other People’s Homes

Back in the day when we were underground porn producers, we used to absolutely live for home tours. We’d grab our top stars, a pizza delivery uniform, a cowboy hat and a plumber’s jumpsuit and that’s all we needed to film dozens of movies with all the realistic scenarios our audiences loved. With unlimited access to fantastic houses, we soon had the edge over our low-budget competition and quickly took the industry by storm. Perhaps that’s why we won the coveted “Excellence in Scenic Design” award six years running and “Best Laundry Room Kiss” twice. (You can’t get that kind of realism working on a soundstage.)

We’d still be making movies to this day if that one damn homeowner hadn’t recognized her beloved pet in the leading role in our final film, Ferret Bueller’s Day Off. She and her husband sued us for everything we had, and as a result, we haven’t been able to walk into a stranger’s house without a crushing case of Post-Traumatic Home Tour Disorder.

But as part of our court-mandated rehab, we are required to successfully attend one entire tour of homes. If we successfully make it through any two-day tour without making X-rated movies, we will finally get our ankle bracelet removed and quietly regain our dignity. So join us as we embark on our first tour in nearly two years.

Thankfully, we’ve picked one amazing event for our triumphant return. The American Institute of Architects (AIA) Dallas Chapter is hosting their fourth-annual Tour of Homes this weekend and trust us, it’s going to be spectacular. The homes are carefully selected by architects who are looking for structures with significant architectural merit and the ability to communicate to the public the relationship between the architect and the owner. In other words, these houses kick ass.

The self-guided tour takes you all over the city, from Lake Highlands and Preston Hollow to East Dallas and Kessler Park. It’s a great way to get design ideas for your own house or apartment, but also see first-hand why hiring an architect to create the home of your dreams is far more valuable than an entire season of Trading Spaces and BATHtastic! combined.

A total of eight homes will be featured, and each offers something truly stunning and unique. Just learn from our mistakes: keep your hands out of the medicine cabinets, and for God’s sake, leave the house pets where you found them.

Tickets: $25 for the entire tour, or $10 at the door of each individual home
Saturday & Sunday, November 6 & 7, 2010
10:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.
www.hometourdallas.com

Click here to buy tickets online

Black Tie Dinner This Weekend
If you’re still looking for tickets for this weekend’s Black Tie Dinner, we’ve got you covered!

The event is virtually sold out, but we’ve held on to a handful of seats just for you, Last-Minute Lucy. Send us a note at www.facebook.com/gaylistdaily and someone from Black Tie Dinner will be in touch shortly to seal the deal.

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