Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Book. Audio. Dynamite!

It’s not very often you’ll see a kid’s product on Gay List Daily, primarily because the last time we featured one, people got so upset. We thought the Kinder Kennel was a perfectly fine gift idea. How were we to know that there’s like a “law” or something that prevents parents from locking their children in cages while they go out to dinner?

But here we are again, in possession of a really great kids’ product that we think will make a great gift. As the holidays approach, there’s a constant reminder that it’s time to start making a shopping list for the little tykes in our lives. Mainly, that reminder is in the form of our 4-year-old niece screaming, “Buy me something, NOW!” that drives the point home fastest.

So this year, we’re going to break every gay-uncle rule in the book. We’re supposed to give gifts like drum sets and laser guns. You know, things that will drive the parents insane. But when we were sent the AnyBook Reader, we decided it was time to give the gift of literesy litaracee literacy instead.

This cool little gadget allows adults to record any book so that when they’re away on a business trip (or trapped in a mine), little Johnny and Suzie can cuddle up in bed and hear Mommy or Daddy’s voice reading the book to them.

It sounded really amazing, so we took it for a test spin. Unfortunately, the only book we had at our desk was the lesbian novel Do Not Disturb from one of our favorite authors, Carsen Taite. But we weren’t going to let a little steamy lady sex stop us from determining if this is a kid-friendly item.

The method is simple. There are sticker sets that the AnyBook Reader recognizes, like a scanner at the grocery store identifies products by their barcodes. You place a sticker on a page and a couple of quick steps later, you’re able to start narrating the book. There are stickers specifically designed to recognize what you’ve recorded, and there’s also a set with pre-recorded sound effects that are common in children’s books, and surprisingly, lesbian books, too. One quick scan and the train goes, “Choo-choo!” The pig says, “Oink!” And the thunder and lightning sticker can really set the mood for those dramatic passages.

Sadly, we ran out of cat stickers in the lesbian book.

The device is capable of recording up to 15 or 60 hours, depending on which model you purchase. So turn any book, yes any book, into an audio performance that will win the hearts of all your favorite children. Or serve as the perfect audition for working that lesbian phone sex line.

$39.99 – $59.99