There are so many rules laid out by the NFL about their “Bowl that is Super” and “Game that is Big,” that we have no idea what we can legally call it any more without some sort of trademark violation or one of those hissy fits where they throw the ball on the ground after a touchdown. But we really don’t care. Football is not a gay sport. Partying is.
So how excited are we that while people are clamoring for last-minute tickets to see the Toledo Super-Ninjas face off against the Shreveport Rabid Opossums (team selection not final), we’ll be living it up with an open bar, iconic gay entertainers and more homos than the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders Hair & Makeup Squadron. Think of it as a Tailgay Party.
We know it seems like months away (because it is), but February 3 will be here before you know it. And what better way to spend the day after Groundhog Day than partying like a rock star at the Cotton Bowl stadium at the XLV Party (that’s Roman for Extra-Large Vajajay). It’s really three full nights of events, but we’re most interested in the super-gay opening night with none other than The Village People headlining. How appropriate, too, because we’ll be spending the week at the YMCA after calling the number on one of those signs and renting our house out for $10,000! We’re sure we can trust total strangers to take care of our dogs and not drink our booze, right?
The other acts for the 7-hour party include Lena Katina from T.a.T.u., not to be confused with their cover band, T.r.a.M.p. S.t.a.M.p.
DJ Enferno, one of Madonna’s own discoveries will be spinning, as will the luscious Lady Bunny, and Hector Fonseca. But you know the performer we’re most excited to see? The hot-as-hell Cazwell. We just hope he brings his Ice Cream Truck boys and a few extra popsicles.
Tickets are $99 General Admission, but we’re going for the VIP Pass for $199. That includes a special entrance without a line, and a VIP section above the rest of the crowd because there’s no point in paying for VIP if people don’t KNOW you’re VIP. But the best part of the extra $100 pricetag is Free Open Bar!!! They’re going to lose so much money on us, but it’s too late now because we’ve already got our tickets, yo!
So put on your shoulder pads, jack up the helmet hair and join us for one of the best parties of the year. If you’re lucky, we just might let you into our End Zone. But only if you’re Third-and-Long and ready to go into Overtime. Wow, football really is pretty gay after all.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
$99 General Admission
$500 Backstage Pass