Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Benchin’ Camaros

We know what you’re thinking. It’s January 4 and we’re writing about a fitness program. How original. But hopefully you’ve come to trust us enough to know that we wouldn’t clutter your inbox with something so cliché if there weren’t an interesting twist. Sure, it’s not a soap opera separated-at-birth, evil-twin type of twist, but something equally intriguing.

If you’ve ever seen JR Brown (above) out in Dallas, he’s big. Damn big. And damn gay. Being the dainty sort ourselves, we find that combination completely alluring. We like to imagine somebody calling him a sissy and then watching while he puts him into a coma with his limp wrist. He’s like our own community superhero.

Obvious as it may be by his appearance, it’s important to note that JR is a personal trainer. He’ll kick your butt in person, yet you can now experience his unique form of punishment from the comfort of your own home for less than $2/day. Through his web site, www.trainerdaddy.com, you can sign up for Trainer Daddy Online, a virtual workout and fitness program customized to your goals, body type and fitness level.

Simply fill out a few answers about your health, calculate your Body Mass Index and check off a list of equipment you have available to you. Even if you have nothing but an elastic fitness band and a kettle bell, you can get an amazing workout. Of course, the more you have access to (dumb bells, bar bells, a Soloflex hidden under a pile of laundry), the more variety you’ll get.

Select the number of days you want to work out per week and presto! You’ve got a personalized workout program complete with 3-D video demonstrations featuring a guy doing exercises without his clothes! Before you get too excited, though, we should probably let you know that this particular stud has no skin, either. But he still makes us kinda horny.

You can get meal plans created for you, track your body measurements, and even calculate your own personal FitScore, which measures your performance in strength, power, agility, endurance and flexibility.

So while everyone you know is dusting off their gym cards or signing contracts for multiple years at a health club, you can work out at home (or use the program at your own gym, of course) and save hundreds of dollars a month on personal training. Of course, a couple days per month with JR in person will get you the results you want even faster, ensuring that you look great skinless in time for swimsuit season. Just make sure to wear plenty of sunscreen.

Free 14-day trial
$39.95 per month