Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Flying The Friendliest Skies

Finally, air travel is fun again. It’s what we imagine it was like back in the ’50s (or ’80s, we’re not sure, just olden times in general) when people dressed up for flights, smoked in the cabin and ate food with real silverware. That had to be a blast.

We also remember a time when we were kids when flight attendants were actually courteous – and not 112 years old. The only benefit to those hags is they’re so ugly, feeble and gaseous, we’d be able to use them as floatation devices in case of a water evacuation and feel no guilt for keeping their faces below the water. We guess that’s why they still have jobs.

But everything we hate about other airlines was completely forgotten this last week when we took our first Virgin America flight. We’d flown Virgin Atlantic to London before, which was completely fab, but damn if Virgin America hasn’t made flying sexy and more fun than we thought imaginable.

First off, the flight attendants are super-nice and eager to please whether it’s helping a passenger with his entire rotisserie chicken (yes, this happened on our flight) or just stopping by to chat. A foreign exchange stewardess from Australia (they really exist) was working our flight and she’d just pop by to tell a joke or talk in-flight poultry preparation.

The seats are comfortable, too, even in economy class. Yet it’s the in-seat touch-screen monitors that kept us entertained, fed and boozed up the entire flight. We watched paternity tests on Maury, beauty pageant toddlers on Tyra and even chatted with other passengers via seat-to-seat text message. (It’s just like Grindr, but with a much higher probability of sexting a grandmother or small child by mistake.)

Our favorite part is that you can open a tab for food and drinks and every time you need a new Gin-Ger Ale (our new favorite cocktail of cranberry juice, ginger ale and gin), the flight attendant shows up within minutes with your order. No button pushing. No attitude. Nothing but the greatest in-flight experience we’ve ever had, First Class on other airlines included.

So cheers to Virgin America. And here’s hoping they expand their routes further so everyone can experience flying the way it should be.

Fares from $69 one-way