We throw a lot of parties at the Gay List Mansion and the one thing our guests always comment on is how hydrated they are when they leave. That’s because we always have plenty of drink stations set up.
One near the Naked Limbo Trampoline by the Jacuzzi Grotto. Another inside the Endangered Species Petting Zoo. And a final one decorated with glow-in-the-dark puff paint for easy access in the 100% Platonic Don’t Mind The Holes In The Wall Or Slings Hanging From The Ceiling Party Dungeon.
For every event, we always set out several of our 3-gallon beverage containers filled with pre-mixed cocktails so that the bartenders don’t have to think too hard. (God bless ’em, they’re pretty, but a Vodka Tonic has one too many ingredients for them to execute easily.)
But now we’re pissed because our beverage containers are a couple years old and the new 2011 models are out. Not only is there a new ice core for keeping the cocktails chilled without being watered down, but now there’s a little fruit infuser basket for adding wonderful flavor without seeds, pulp or other fruit bits clogging up the spout. Because nobody likes fruit caught in their hole. At least not on Tuesdays.
So we’ve been forced to upgrade and we can’t wait for a summer of even more fantastic parties thanks to our new secret weapon. Just think of what all we can put in that infuser. Pineapple! Strawberries! Roofies!
The only limit is our imagination. And the contents of our underground liquor bunker.
$19.88
www.samsclub.com
Note: Expect to pay nearly double at other retailers.
