Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Mean Girl

Lisa Lampanelli is so funny it scares us. No, really. We’re completely, utterly afraid of her. She has a way of reducing grown men to tears, and because we’re only partially grown, we’d probably implode and turn into a fine, sparkly pink powder.

One of the most delightfully foul-mouthed broads ever to grace the stage (well, not counting televangelist Jan Crouch), her act is so hot, it’s incendiary. Nobody is safe, whether she’s talking about Kate Gosselin, the guidos and guidettes of Jersey Shore or her big-balled boyfriend. But our favorite part, which she brings up in her act, is how much she loves the gays. Because we’re not easily (or ever) offended. Just scared. (Still shaking.)

One of the bonuses of her new DVD, Tough Love, is a collection of outtakes that were too hot for Comedy Central. And of course, the fact that she’s actually able to cuss without being bleeped. It’s hard watching her on TV sometimes because so much of her act is censored and we have to guess exactly what she’s saying.

Well, here she is in all her fuckin’ glory.

Available today
$10.49 for the DVD
$9.99 movie download on iTunes
$12.73 for the CD (more expensive and no pictures, WTF?)

Want your own copy of the DVD?
Drop us a line on the Contact Us page. Include your phone number in the comments section and tell us your favorite dirty joke. Winners will be selected at random and notified via e-mail or phone call. Entry deadline: 11:59 p.m. tonight, April 5, 2011.

Swan Song
Our crazy fair swanmother also dropped off some DVDs and Blu-ray copies of Natalie Portman’s award-winning performance in Black Swan, one of our favorite psycho-ballerina flicks of 2010. Follow the same protocol as above (fill out the Contact Us page with your phone number, too) and we’ll randomly draw some winners. Let us know if you prefer old-fashioned DVD or new-fangled Blu-ray. Entry deadline: 11:59 p.m. tonight, April 5, 2011.