There’s nothing worse than showing up to a big event in the same outfit as somebody else. Thankfully, that’s only happened to us twice. Once at the Big Gay Renaissance Faire & Semi-Automatic Weapons Show in Crockett, Texas, and another time when we showed up to protest George W. Bush moving into the house next door. Oddly enough, both times involved the same crushed-velvet maiden costume. (Neiman’s must’ve had a sale.)
Trust us. This is embarrassment you never want to experience first-hand.
So that’s why we’re prepared to do all our shopping at Dallas’ Piermarini Boutique in the State-Thomas neighborhood of Uptown. Situated in a quaint old house, the experience is designed to be less like shopping retail and more like borrowing clothes from a friends’ closet (which is really gross if your friends are like ours and have a penchant for tight t-shirts adorned with sparkles and beads). But here, we want one of everything, please.
At Piermarini Boutique, named for 20-year-old fashion wunderkind John Piermarini, one-of-a-kind is the name of the game. The barely legal cutie scours the globe for the hottest designers and features their clothing in his boutique for men and women. He won’t carry a designer unless he’s the only one in town who carries their lines. (Diva!)
It’s all for the customers’ benefit, though. By only carrying one size run of each style and featuring only the hottest new designers, you can be guaranteed that you’ll be the only guy at the truck stop casino’s All You Can Eat Scrod Buffet in a Size Medium pink-and-purple jacquard print jacket.
Of course, being the first to buy something is key because once something’s gone, it’s gone. Forever. Like unicorns and Libertarian strippers.
So it pays to shop here often. The early bird may get the worm, but the early gay gets the hot checkered pants.
2701 Hibernia Street, Dallas
Tuesday – Saturday, 10:00 a.m. – 5:00 p.m.
Sunday, Noon – 4:00 p.m.