Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Zero Worship

Finding things in your water can be good. Like Scotch, for instance. Or an Olympic swimmer. Of course, that would require a much bigger glass.

What’s not good to discover floating in the H2O you’re about to drink is sediment. You probably can’t see it, but you sure can taste it. Dirt, rust, the bones of bodies from ancient burial grounds near your water source.

That’s why ZeroWater is so cool. This water filtration system puts every other one we’ve tried to shame. Their filter removes all sorts of craziness that we just take for granted in our water. It even comes with a handy little meter that measures the amount of TDS (Total Dissolved Solids) in your water.

So, of course, we set up a test. Water from the tap, water from our previous filter pitcher and ZeroWater. Tap registered 160 units, the competition clocked in at 103 and ZeroWater, of course, came in at 000. (Some bottled water that you’re paying high dollar for can be as high as 350).

What’s cool about ZeroWater is that you only replace the filter when the reading goes up to 006, not based on an arbitrary 3-month replacement period. It could be more, it could be less, depending on how much water you drink. (Or how picky the participants in your backyard wet T-shirt contests are about the purity of the water that graces their boobage.)

The only downside to ZeroWater is that the dispenser takes a loooooong time to fill. But that’s because it’s going through five stages of filtration. Compared to the five stages of grief, which can take years, we think a few minutes is quite acceptable.

Some people argue that some of the dissolved solids, such as minerals, are actually beneficial. But we prefer only the purest tasting water for our cocktail mixers. If you’re that concerned about minerals, that’s what Flintstones are for.

$37.99 10-cup Pitcher
$39.99 23-cup Dispenser (pictured)