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Drinking Like The Pros

Science is so cool.

It has sent men to the moon. Given us pills for four-hour erections. And enabled geneticists to grow human ears on the back of lab mice.

So in anticipation of our upcoming trip to the Tales of the Cocktail convention in New Orleans, we contacted Richard Branson’s Virgin Cloning Institute (man, that guy’s got his hands in everything) and pre-ordered a spare liver. It’s currently at 80% of its ideal size and weight and very happy in its temporary home on a red baboon ass in a Manchester, England laboratory.

FedEx is standing by with an ice chest and if all goes according to schedule, we’ll have it with us when we land in the Big Easy on July 20 for the convention of our dreams. For several days, the world’s best bartenders, liquor brand ambassadors and enthusiastic imbibers converge on New Orleans to celebrate all things alcoholic. So, you see, we may need an organ on standby.

We learned in Boy Scouts to be prepared for anything.

Tales of the Cocktail has seminars. Dinners. And, of course, parties like only New Orleans can host. Tickets are sold out for most events, but while perusing our inbox this morning we found a glimmer of hope for anyone hoping to attend. Liquor.com is giving away two tickets, including airfare, four nights at the Bourbon Orleans Hotel and tickets to 12 of the best events throughout the week.

The contest ends on July 6, so enter now for a chance.

And if you’re lucky enough to win, you’ll be able to hang out and drink with us, which might just include a bonus prize of our hotel room key slipped into your pocket at midnight.

Don’t worry, drinking never affects our performance. Just our judgment.

Tales of the Cocktail
July 20 – 24, 2011
Enter here to win a free trip