We’ll endorse Beyoncé’s new album on one condition. She and her record label must promise to not grant rights to anyone with any connection to the Sex and the City franchise or Liza Minnelli. We love them both, but the travesty that was Sex and the City 2 was only made worse by Liza’s cringe-worthy rendition of Single Ladies.
But I think we’re safe. Nearly every song on 4, Beyoncé’s fourth solo album is a slow jam not as ripe for parody. The only track that comes close to the infectious joy of putting a ring on it is Run the World (Girls), an empowerment anthem that sounds nothing like Express Yourself or Born this Way, so at least we’re safe from any debate on that topic.
And for millions of people who used Barry White albums as their love-making soundtrack, there’s finally something for a new generation. Beyoncé has produced one sexy album filled with sultry songs that will get the horizontal party started. And if you’re lucky, you’ve got the stamina to make it all the way to track 8, Love on Top.
It’s a great song. And the headline for our next personals ad.
$11.99 on iTunes
