Put Some Gay In Your Day, Dallas!

Chamber of Secrets

If there are two things gays have a firm grasp of, it’s secrets and holes. So combine the two and we’ve got something to get excited about.

We’ve always been fans of anything with a mystery compartment, so if you ever get the chance to tour the Gay List Mansion, few things are what they seem. The library is filled with books, but they all have hidden compartments jam-packed with our various handguns. Good thing the strippers we keep on staff don’t like to read or there’d be mutiny.

All the rocks in the flowerbeds near the Jacuzzi grotto? They’re fake, too. And they all hold keys to other things with secret compartments.

Oh, and don’t ever leave your cocktail unattended around us. That large ring we wear on our flipping finger? It’s filled with poison. And we rarely get the chance to use it.

So we were thrilled to discover a useful new product from Contigo. It’s a 24-ounce Autoseal Kangaroo bottle with a secret of its own. (It’s really a woman!) A small built-in compartment has room for our ID, car key or the membership card for the adult DVD store. (For some reason we like porn after a good workout).

It’s perfect for toting to the gym or taking a walk through the neighborhood. Most running shorts don’t have pockets, or they’re so small that they’re virtually useless.

This bottle is BPA free, top-rack dishwasher-safe and features an Autoseal lid that keeps our Slim Fast and Kahlua from spilling all over the treadmill.